Most Kashmir planned trips include Shrinagar, Gulmarg, Pahalgam and sometimes Sonmarg. If you are planning such trip, here are a few tips from my recent visit to Kashmir (Jul 2021).

Before I start, I must tell you this. If you are like me, who is reasonably fit and loves trekking/ hiking / backpacking, then best way explore Kashmir for you is Kashmir Great Lakes trek. That offers real beauty of the valley minus touristy bulshit.

However if you are planning for Kashmir along with family here are my tips for you to make most of the trip.

Shrinagar

Stay in a Houseboat atleast for a night. It's a different experience over usual hotel stay. One can always take a Shikara (50 ₹) and go to Dal lake road for a nice stroll.
Indulge in some delicious Shikara Kabab 😋.
Enjoy Dal lake Shikara ride (best around Sunset time). Avoid market visit, it's mostly for Shikara to earn commission from shops, you better just go for longer lake ride.
Nigeen lake rides isn't that popular as compared to Dal lake but do consider if you can as it's more tranquil.

Gulmarg

The Gulmarg Gondola rides (both phases) are a must-do, but start early to avoid the crowds. You will to have some time in hand to explore at top.

There is no need to take guide for the ride or it's booking. Guides trick you into paying for unnecessary things and they are greedy and generally spoils the fun of an otherwise beautiful place. Best to not engage with them. Hope some day local administration fixes this for tourists 🙏.

Avoid pony ride to Gondola ticket counter. It's not too far one can simply walk there. Pony guys trick you into taking longer routes.
Avoid weekends as weekends are super crowded.

Pahalgam 

Surely visit Baisaran (also called mini Switzerland).

In case if you choose to do Aru valley, Betaab valley and Chandanwadi, you may have to hire a local cab. Cab driver will try to sell you expensive package with some 9 spots, most of which are useless. Doing Aru, Betaab and Chandanwadi is good enough. It's little tiring travel.
Start early morning to beat the long traffic jams otherwise only choose between "Chandanwadi + Betaab valley" or "Aru Valley". Chandanwadi is also the starting point for Amarnath Yatra.

Doodhpathri 

This is one lesser known gem and quite close from Shrinagar. Beautiful valley covered with snow clad mountains and the rolling meadows. It is quiet, scenic and romantic.

There is no real need of hiring ponies here too but even if you do then 500/700 ₹ per pony per person is fair amount. Pony guy will walk along and later ask for tip. Generally they are well behaved as compared to Gulmarg pony guys and agents.

Don't forget to have some hot Maggie at the roadside shacks on your way back.

Dry fruits

On the way to Pahalgam, you get good dry fruits at good rates. However there's a possibility that the dry fruits that the shop will pack is different (older stock) than what sample they showed you. Make sure that you check what's packed.